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The only reason they’re running, by the way, is because you’re chasing them. You’re like chasing them, like, “Come back, come back,” energetically. Or you want something from them, and they’re like, “Oh my god,” and they just start running because that’s the energy dynamic that’s being played.
So instead, there’s something that, if you do, will change absolutely everything, and it will allow you to then have that magnetic energy naturally. When we think of energy dynamics,
think of this in the form of people are always responding to the energy we are putting out,
and they’re, in a way, playing according to the role we are playing.
So this is why, when we run after someone and we chase someone or we really like someone, and if we have that kind of energy, they naturally begin to run. They’re playing off of that energy. Think about it like a dog. If you have a little dog or something like that, and you’re like, “I’m gonna get you,” and then you start running after them, what do they do?
As you’re chasing them, they’re literally running away from you because they’re playing
according to the energy that is being embodied. Now, in a very similar way, people respond to us based on how we either allow them to treat us or the energy we’re putting out.
I’ve seen it before, where maybe people didn’t, like, respect me. This is especially like when I was working that nine to five job selling women’s shoes. People would respond to me a certain way, and it was because I wasn’t necessarily respecting myself.
And a lot of times, as well, it was when I wanted something from someone else that then that rejection or that energy would come because I was wanting something from them. So the thing that I’d like you to become aware of for this, that makes all the difference in the world, is understanding being solid in your own frame.
Also, meaning being solid inside of your own body because I will tell you from experience that I learned the shadow work integration technique, I guess you could call it. I have a shadow work integration coach who has a double PhD in Karl Jungian psychology.
And one of the things that he shared with me is this process of bringing the energy into my hands and my feet and how, as I would feel the separation between me and other people and me being inside my own body and feeling the space, that had such a profound effect on my own energy field.
I would do this and then go out Whole Foods, or I’d go out hiking or I would do something, and people respond to me so differently because I’m in my own frame. I’m inside of my own body. Prior to that, though, I was tuning to other people.
And when I tuned into other people, that was me wanting something from them. I was either wanting their frame, or I was wanting their validation, or I was wanting some level of them to give me authority, or there are lot of many different things people can walk from somebody else.
A lot of times, it’s validation though. And the thing to become aware of with this is don’t confuse liking someone with wanting their validation because the thing is, is when we are attached to outcome, that’s when we want something from somebody else.
And what ends up happening is the more we want someone’s validation, the more we want someone’s approval, the more we want someone to act in a certain way around us, the more we actually end up resisting having it. Think about this. This is something that comes from something called the Backwards Law.
The Backwards Law from Alan Watts, he coined this term, simply states that the more you… The more you want something, the more you resist it. It actually ends up doing the backwards thing. So the more you try to control your life and the more things have to be a certain way, the more out of control you feel.
The more you want someone to like you, the more you’re gonna, like, not be authentic and natural in your own frame, and then the more the energy’s gonna be messed up and the less they’re actually gonna like you.
But the more detached from out come you are, the more you don’t care if somebody likes you, the more they like you. Isn’t it funny how that works? So really what this is a game of… A game. Sometimes people put dating and game into the same category.
But really what the key focus here is releasing attachment to the outcome. Letting go of being attached to whether someone likes you back or not. You see they’re very… It’s almost the same thing, but it’s coming from a different place.
You can practice this too. I have a buddy of mine. I was at a seminar speaking with my buddy, Owen, and he was talking about how he had a buddy who would go out.
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