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People in your life are reflecting back to you your own level of emotional either availability or emotional tolerability. And in this video, I’m gonna show you how to break out of the box of attracting only emotionally unavailable people, maybe people that wanna manipulate your energy.
And what I share with you in this video will completely transform your ability to not only experience more emotionally available people, but also open up yourself to a completely new level of depth, connection, and respect. Here’s an idea that I learned a couple days ago that has completely changed my perspective on understanding all relationships.
And that is we attract people into our lives that are expressing the emotion that we are expressing. Let me say that again. So the emotions we’ve repressed in our bodies, the emotions we’ve repressed and not allowed ourselves to feel.
We attract people into our lives that are expressing that in some form. And this is something that’s interesting because I just got done doing a whole entire week of plant medicine ceremonies in Costa Rica.
I do it two or three times a year. It’s like these retreats where we bring in these plant medicine, people and stuff like that. And anyways, we do these plant medicines like Ayahuasca and San Pedro that just bring out this emotion. And one of the things and challenges in my own life has been becoming emotionally available. Because what I’ve realized is either I would attract emotionally unavailable people that weren’t able to really
choose me mainly by the way, because I wasn’t choosing myself.
This is the tricky thing of this whole thing, by the way. But what I realized is I was with some friends and my group of friends that I do these retreats with. And I realized that my best friend, Victor is extraordinarily emotionally expressive. My friend, Matt is also extraordinarily expressive. My girlfriend, Heather is extraordinarily emotionally expressive.
And it’s interesting because I think we attract people into our lives to reflect back to us energy that maybe we can learn. So there’s actually something to learn from the emotionally unavailable people that we may have in our lives. And this was hard for me to look at at first, because back in the day my story was that I was actually, honestly, if I being honest with myself, I was more so emotionally needy than I was emotionally secure.
So in a way I was desiring and wanting the validation of people in my life. And I find myself losing my own sense of frame and feeling kind of codependent based on theirs. But what I realized is my story was, well they just aren’t doing the work. They’re not emotionally available.
And that was my story. And it was always a story about other people. It was never about myself. That was another disempowering part of it. One of the things I had to wake up to though is that the reason I was attracting emotionally unavailable people in my life is because one of two things, either I was tolerating and I thought that I was only worthy of having people that were emotionally available.
That was the first part. Think about it. Someone that really is confident in their own frame, knows their own sense of self worth. They probably wouldn’t tolerate that of an emotionally unavailable person that maybe wasn’t choosing them.
But at the same time what I realized is that was the first part of it. The second part of it is that I myself was emotionally unavailable. The thing with this whole thing and the interesting part of this is that if someone is attracting emotionally unavailable people into their life and tolerating it, it’s most likely because that’s a projection of some degree of emotional unavailability.
So it’s about realizing that some of the emotions growing up as children, we have familiarized certain ways of relating. And if you had a parent or parents that were emotionally unavailable, you will probably think that the only thing you are worthy of is another parent or another person, a partner that is also emotionally unavailable.
Because we familiarized it. I was on my way home from Costa Rica yesterday on a flight.
And I was watching this documentary on this UFC fighter. His last name is Bisping, Michael Bisping. And he’s like this amazing fighter. He was a champion for a while, and he has a pretty crazy story.