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Have you ever noticed that the more you try to control things in your life, the more out of control you feel? Have you noticed that if you want someone’s approval or validation, the more you want it, the more you kind of do weird things or your energy comes off different and the less they actually naturally like you or approve of you or validate you?
The thing is as many times the more we try, the more we try to control, the more we put our energy into things, the more we actually resist. And in this video, I’m gonna show you the cure and what changes everything when you apply it and it makes your life so much easier, more aligned, and effortless.
There’s something called the law of reversed effort. And this is a law that is also stems from something called the backwards law from Alan Watts. And it’s exactly what I was sharing with you at the beginning, where the more you want something, the more you actually lack something.
The more that you try to control things in your life, the more outta control you feel. Whereas if you would just go with the flow and accept things that are out of control, you would then feel more in control. If you would accept, a lot of this has to do with acceptance.
If you would accept where you’re at when it comes to wanting someone else’s validation or approval. You were to accept yourself and feel natural about it and not feel weird or try to get something from someone else. Then what would happen is people would just naturally like you more.
So it’s an interesting dynamic but really what this has to do with is understanding that if we are approaching life in a way where our ego is trying to control things, our ego is trying to get things, then what happens is we are emphasizing that this moment right here isn’t good enough.
And we end up reestablishing a sense of a reality that isn’t where we want it to be. So in a way, vibrationally what we’re saying is where we are right now is not good enough, where we are right now is not good enough.
I wanna be over there. And because we’re in that energy and we’re trying to get out of it, we’re emphasizing the trying itself is emphasizing that we’re not where we want to be. That things are not okay. That I am not safe. And then we end up staying in a reality that is equal to that.
This is why the more I’ve learned about personal development, the more I’ve realized it’s just complete bullshit. If we wanna change ourselves, we wanna make ourselves better, we wanna read all the books, we want to get and listen to all the seminars, and do everything because we wanna change.
Once again, we are emphasizing that there’s something we have, or there’s something that’s outside of ourselves that if we got we would feel good. Now the key and the transformation of everything that I would like for you to get outta this video is understanding that attachment is the culprit here.
It’s attachment. If it’s control that we’re having trouble letting go of, it’s because we believe
there’s a false belief that is there that we are attached to that says if people act the way I want them to act then I can feel safe. Then I can feel good enough. If the attachment is on someone else giving us approval or validation, then the belief is if somebody else is, the belief is somebody else has something of mine.
They have the validation, the love, or the support. And if they would just give it to me
then I would finally feel safe. So remember this saying just throughout life, 90% of all transformation is awareness. It’s simply becoming aware. The more aware you become,
the more free you become. The more aware you become, the less effort you need to put into things because what you can then do is just let go of the false belief that says that you’re not good, that you don’t accept yourself.
It’s not necessarily what we’re changing. It’s like, oh, well then I’ll just stay the same. And I’ll smoke and just chill on my couch all day. Is that what you’re saying? It’s real. I’m not saying that. What it is realizing is the energy you’re putting into things. If the reason you need to control life and have things happen the way you want is because you believe that that will make you happy then there’s gonna be problems because there’s an attachment there.
And remember attachment is the root of all suffering. What is the key to getting out of attachment? It’s awareness. It’s becoming aware of why you want what you want. For myself, I know that growing up I felt controlled.
I felt like, and I did, I mean, I literally had like a narcissistic army commander as an ex-stepmom from 7 to 15 years old. Didn’t have any freedom. After my ex-stepmom left my life when I was 15 and my dad finally divorced her, I then had all this freedom and it scared the shit outta me.